One Photo From Each Club: Fareham Town to Horndean

Fareham Town's brick goalie.

Carrying on with the "one photo from each club in alphabetical order" series, we reach Fareham Town. Now, this was only my third match, and it has the distinction of being my worst-written match report with the weakest set of photos (it was dark and cold and I only took around ten - none of which were very good). I only started to realise the importance of half-decent photography when I noticed that most of my visitors were arriving via an image search. The best of a bad bunch was this photo of a brick goalie. Fareham Town is top of my list to revisit, partly because I want to make up for the initial crummy match report, and partly because they had the joint-best programme of all the non-league clubs that I visited (the other equally superb programme was issued at one of the other clubs below).

Dan Strugnell scores for the mighty Hawks at Farnborough!

The most miserable club I visited was Farnborough. There was no programme, the weather was manky drizzle, there were kids throwing stones into the ground from the car park, and the stewards were needlessly officious. On the plus side, Havant & Waterlooville played well and scored this goal from Dan Strugnell to come away with a 1-1 draw. I chose this photo to cheer myself up.

A successful day out in the Vase for Bemerton Heath Harlequins concludes with the long walk to Fawley's changing rooms.

A cup competition that I've not seen enough of is the FA Vase. The only match I've written about in the aforementioned competition so far was at Fawley last October. The home side played well enough, but after Bemerton Heath Harlequins had had a player sent off for throwing the ball at the ref's head, the Wiltshire side scored from two penalties to progress to the next round. An eventful game played at a two-and-a-half-sided ground that I rather liked. My favourite photo was of these Bemerton players making their way across another pitch towards the changing rooms. I was glad the wind was blowing the rancid-looking smoke from the oil refinery chimney away from the ground.

Gosport Borough's press box at half-time in their FA Cup match with Bideford.

The best non-league stand in the county is the one built in 1935 at Gosport Borough. I wish every ground had a stand like this, but they don't and they never will now. One of the last of a kind with its wooden seats and old-fashioned press box. This photo was taken at half-time during their FA Cup game against Bideford.

Small, tall, and an exciting-looking aeroplane at GE Hamble.

Another ground I liked a lot was Follands Park at GE Hamble. You don't see an aeroplane on a stick at the football very often! Not only that, but there was an old bus shelter to keep the fans dry behind one goal, and three rusty rollers! It's quite difficult to take a bad photo at Hamble, so this was one of my favourite sets overall. I chose one of the aeroplane pictures as it ticked the "what's different about this ground?" box...and the perspective seems right up the shoot in this particular one.

There's something about dogs and football in Fleet, part one, Fleet Town...

There were dogs everywhere at Fleet Town. I could have sent enough photos to have filled the whole of the Non-League Dogs blog several times over. It was a hot day, so I felt sympathy for this shaggy fellow trying to find some shade. The other thing I liked about Fleet Town was the half-time music - punk rock, new wave, ska...they'd been rooting around in my record collection!

...and part two, Fleet Spurs.

No ska at Fleet Spurs (or any half-time tunes at all), but there was another dog. This one actually did make an appearance on Non-League Dogs - I didn't send it to them, but they did acknowledge where it came from, which I appreciated. As the official crowd at Fleet Spurs was 2, it meant that I was part of both the smallest crowd in the Wessex League last season, and the largest (448 at Alton Town).

Victory for the underdogs as Hartley Wintney celebrate their FA Cup win over Bashley.

As I live in Southampton, the clubs in the north-east of the county have provided my longest trips (for example, Aldershot is just over an hour in the car - longer at rush hour). I went by train to Hartley Wintney, which meant changing at Basingstoke, then a long walk from Winchfield Station. It was worth it though to be part of the crowd of around 100 which witnessed one of the biggest shocks of the early rounds of the FA Cup the season before last, as the home side knocked out Southern Premier League Bashley. I like the mixture of joy and misery at the end of the match in the photo above. Oh, and Hartley Wintney's programme wins the HAH Best Programme Award for the 38 non-league clubs that I've visited, jointly with Fareham Town. Excellent reads, both of them.

The old welcome sign at Havant & Waterlooville's Westleigh Park, now hidden behind a new covered terrace.

To be fair, Havant & Waterlooville's programme is very good too, but I don't want to appear biased towards the club that I watched the most over this period by giving them the programme trophy (a trophy made out of my imagination and thin air, but worth winning, nevertheless!). My home-town club, I feel right at home at Westleigh Park. I've chosen this arty picture of an old welcome sign, half-hidden behind the new covered terrace, which was paid for by their famous cup tie against Liverpool a few years ago. It might look as though the Hawks' ground is run down and tatty from this picture, but it isn't at all - the yellow gate shown above leads to some steps which in turn lead to the club's TV tower.

Totton & Eling traipse out for the second half at Hayling United's College Ground.

Just down the road from Havant is Hayling United. Now, my trip to the island was one of the coldest (remember that "Spring" just gone? Jeez). I sat and waited for the teams to come out for the second-half underneath the only piece of standing cover at the College Ground, attempting to bite through a frozen Mars Bars without breaking any teeth. Just as the teams started walking past, this chap wearing many layers came and stood nearby. Luckily, he improved the photo and made it my favourite from the day.

Faded lawnmower glamour at Horndean.

And just up the road from Havant is Horndean! The county's slopiest ground by far, and another one I shall return to at some point in the future. I chose this photo of an abandoned old lawnmower as representative of all the old groundsmen's equipment that I saw on my travels, because...well, just because.

Coming up next - more photos, from Hythe & Dibden through to Romsey Town, in alphabetical order.

Two Moves and a Name Change

Sup up, Bashley Bear!

In the absence of any match reports for the past couple of weeks, here's a little local news round-up instead.

Bashley speaker on one of their covered terraces.

Firstly, following on from Alton Town's enforced move, it appears that my fourth-favourite team, Bashley, may be moving as well. This move, however, is voluntary, due to the circumstances outlined in this link.

Executive seating at Bashley.

Not all their fans are pleased with the situation, as evidenced by the halving of their crowds since the announcement was made. The matter is being voted on at an EGM as I write, so we'll see what the outcome is very shortly. There is a Save Bashley FC group on Facebook, apparently (not being on Facebook, I'm not able to view it). Also, some chat board discussion here.

Two steps of terrace at Bashley Road.

I took the opportunity to visit Bashley Road on Tuesday evening for Bash's game against a strong Chesham United side. The ground had the air of a shop holding a closing-down sale - it felt very sad. Nothing like the vibrant, jolly club that I used to visit before my son was born. Even last season against Leamington, it still felt like a happy, lively place to watch a game of footy. Home-made cakes, a tiny club shop selling bright, colourful Bashley souvenirs, cheering, smiling fans... Tuesday night was so gloomy in comparison. However, the ground is still an atmospheric one, especially under lights, so I took a few photos to show you.

The new home of Bashley New Milton.

The club will be moving two miles to New Milton Town's council-owned ground, taking at least one stand with them, and renaming themselves as Bashley New Milton. As far as I can tell, New Milton Town will then fold, leaving a space in the Wessex League (which will be filled by Sholing, who have just resigned from the Southern League). Perhaps a new club will form to play at Bashley Road, starting again at Hampshire League level?

In the meantime, I'm going to need a new fourth-favourite team for next season.

Hythe & Dibden's Ewart Recreation Ground under floodlights...

Could it be Hythe & Dibden? They're another club on the move. Currently at the planning stage, they're due to move out of their quirky recreation ground home soon. If all goes to plan, they will be playing at the Clayfields Sports Centre in a few months.

...moving to the Clayfields Sports Centre soon.

I drove out to Clayfields yesterday lunchtime to see if anything was happening there, but the answer, unsurprisingly, was "no". No floodlights or cover or anything else been erected yet. I'll have another look over the summer...

Bus shelter at GE Hamble.

And finally in this round-up, GE Hamble are changing their name again. They're the club that change their name more often than Blackburn Rovers change their managers. According to a recent programme, they will be known as Folland Sports FC from next season. This name change comes about following "a corporate audit which raised branding issues" - astonishingly, someone was actually paid money to make this decision. In my nightmares, I can imagine being invited to one of their meetings...

Corporate Branding Architecture Manager?! And the Tory press whinge on about public sector "non-jobs"! Gah!

I'm sad to say that Romsey Town took this notice literally in their recent 7-1 defeat at GE Hamble :-(

Match reports will resume after the Easter weekend.

End of Season Roller Round-Up

Go-slower stripes at Bashley.

As you may know, I'm inordinately fond of the rusty groundsmen's equipment that I see lying around on my travels. Having compiled photos of various rollers and ultra spreaders from the first half of the season here, I thought it was high time that I showed the second half's haul now that my season has ended.

There weren't a huge number to display, so I've added a fork from Havant & Waterlooville and a couple of nice specimens from Bognor Regis Town to bulk up the article a tad (yes, Bognor is in Sussex...I was intending my last report to be from either Gosport Borough or Sholing in the Southern League South & West play-off final, but unfortunately Poole Town spoilt my plan by barging in front of both clubs towards the end of the season, resulting in the final being played in Dorset...so I went to Bognor Regis Town v Dulwich Hamlet instead).

Unloved of Bashley.

The first two pieces of equipment are from Bashley. The large yellow roller with its go-slower stripes is quite a beast, rivalling the one at Cove for super-massiveness. I presume it would need a tractor to pull it along the pitch. However, if there was no tractor available, there are a pair of hefty horses in the field next door who might be amenable to a spot of roller-pulling.

The second item from Bashley was suffocated by weeds. Once a much-loved tiller (or similar), now discarded like an old and unfashionable toy and left to rust in peace behind the terraces.

Two rollers in one at GE Hamble!

The place to be for groundsman's equipment in January was GE Hamble. Not content with just having a cool aeroplane within the ground, there was also a lovely cup of tea in a mug from Mug's Corner; an old bus shelter behind one goal; an interesting quirky stand, friendly locals and a cracking game of football...

A roller, a spade and a jar of grease at GE Hamble.

...all this, and they also had a great selection of rollers! It was hard to choose a favourite, but the two-in-one effort just shades it right now (I may change my mind and prefer the spiky leaf-picker tomorrow...). Two rollers in one! If the first one fails to squish that pesky molehill, the second is sure to do it!

A spiky leaf-picker-upper at GE Hamble.

The coveted award for Most Colourful Roller of 2012 has already been won by Tadley-Calleva. The bright March sunshine made their already red roller seem even redder. If you wanted to take a piece of groundsman's equipment to Mars and hide it on the planet's surface, safe from prying eyes, then this is the roller for you!

The winner of the Most Colourful Roller trophy is... Tadley-Calleva!

Havant & Waterlooville had a squeegee-roller on show before their immense match against Staines Town a couple of weeks ago. The groundsman carried on improving the playing surface at half-time with his fork. Most definitely the Hawks' heroic twelfth man on the day.

A spot of half-time forking at Havant & Waterlooville.

Other than the previously-shown roller at Romsey Town, that was that for the second half of this season, excepting a short trip to Bognor Regis Town last weekend for their play-off final against Dulwich Hamlet (in front of over 2,000 fans!).

A big rusty hot dog at Bognor Regis Town.

Bognor's equipment was safely locked away in a compound, but by peering through the slats, I could see a big rusty roller protected by dog patrols and anti-climbing paint. I can see why they would be so protective of this one - what a lovely specimen - a big rusty hot dog to rival the one at Moneyfields!

Caged up at Bognor Regis Town.

Their second, smaller roller was resting against the iron bars of the compound, looking lonely. Luckily, it had some training equipment to keep it company - traffic cones and those two-dimensional metal men that footballers line up in a wall to practice their curling free-kick technique.

Rickety TV tower at Bognor Regis Town.

As a bonus (and because I'm not writing a report of the Bognor match, despite it being a good 'un), the final photo is of Bognor Regis Town's rickety TV tower. This is very similar to the one at Havant & Waterlooville, built of scaffolding, string and air. Nice floodlights at Bognor too!

18. GE Hamble FC

The Red Arrow Gnat that greets visitors to GE Hamble FC.

Oh my, oh my, but I've been poorly over the last few weeks! I feel like I've been nibbled by miniature metal squirrels who think that the muscles holding my ribcage together are an ideal place to bury nuts. The pain, the excruciating pain! More ill than when I first heard the Beastie Boys back in 1987, that's been me recently.

I've missed some football during that time: that empty seat on the Lower North Terrace at Fratton Park during the Pompey v Saints match? That was mine. The Havant & Waterlooville v Eastleigh derby day at Westleigh Park suffered a drop in attendance of one - that was me too. Oh, and last week, my intended destination of United Services Portsmouth was lacking a little something - that little something was me, not leaning on a barrier, not watching their 1-0 defeat to Brockenhurst.

So, having largely flushed out the daemonic vermin attacking my innards, it was time to return to the playing fields of Hampshire for the Wessex League match between the high-flying Planemakers of GE Hamble and the rock-bottom Humbugs of Hayling United. It was certainly good to be back.

Part of the old name board from the stand from when the club was known as Hamble ASSC.

Details
GE Hamble FC (1) 3 v 1 (1) Hayling United FC
Sydenham's Wessex League Premier Division
Saturday 14th January 2012
Attendance: 45-50
Entrance: £5
Programme: £1
Club shop: No
Colours: Sky blue / Maroon / Maroon v Black & white stripes / Black / White
National Grid reference: SU4707

The stand and covered standing area at GE Hamble.

Older readers may remember watching Play School as children. You may remember the toys. There was lovable old Big Ted (the original was stolen and never recovered - luckily, no-one noticed when he was replaced with an identicle bear); scampy scalliwag Little Ted; flighty posho Jemima; and the rotund and accident prone Humpty...all much-loved characters, apparently befriended by comic genius Eric Morecambe and fondly recalled by anyone currently in their thirties and forties.

There was one other Play School toy that scarred our generation as much as the scary lion and the bear on Teletubbies have turned today's teenagers into quivering wrecks whenever they go near a zoo: Hamble the doll. No-one liked her, not even the programme's presenters. Whether or not this mother of Chucky had anything to do with the village of Hamble-le-Rice, I don't know, but I was aware of the place as a child, knew it was near my home, and was petrified that I might be forced to visit one day and see hundreds of cackling Hamble dolls sat in every window, beckoning me inside with their pointy, witchlike fingers. It was the stuff of nightmares. Having now visited the village several times as an adult, I can gladly report that Hamble the doll is nowhere to be seen. Panic over.

I don't know why, but this photo reminds me of the bit in Father Ted where Ted has to explain to Dougal the difference between far away and small!

Hamble-le-Rice (nobody ever calls it that!) is known throughout the county for its oil terminal, for sailing, and for its aircraft factory. The football club are based within the grounds of the factory, currently owned by GE Aviation. Because the factory has changed owners and names many times over the years, the football club has itself gone through more names than Jonathan King. They started life in 1938 as Folland Aircraft FC - several Pompey and Saints players turned out for them whilst working at the factory during the war, and due to this, they won a number of wartime trophies.

The first name change was to Folland Sports FC, then subsequently to Aerostructures Sports and Social Club, Hamble ASSC FC, and since the summer, GE Hamble FC.

The Royal Victoria Hospital peeking out from behind the trees.

GE Hamble aren't one of the more successful clubs in the Wessex League. Only one top half finish in twenty years for the Planemakers. They're flying high this season though, bothering moneybags Winchester City and Bemerton Heath Harlequins at the top of the Wessex League, like an irritating gnat that the Big Two can't quite shake off.

Talking of gnats, the most striking thing about Hamble's ground is the Red Arrow Gnat that greets visitors as they turn into King's Avenue. This was apparently made at the factory in 1960. Standing beneath it, it seems very small. It was never meant to be a passenger plane though, so it was big enough for the purpose it served.

Some of the finest tea in Hampshire can be purchased from Mugs Corner.

I don't know much about planes. What little I do know, I've learnt from reading WE Johns' Biggles books. For starters, I know that you have to yank up your joystick to take off. This is something that GE Hamble failed to do in the Hayling match, as the visitors flew into attack mode as the Planemakers were still taxiing on the runway, expectantly fondling their joysticks. The quick take-off tactics paid off for the Humbugs as they took the lead after five minutes with a skilfully taken flicked header from a right wing cross.

The home team lumbered into action during the rest of the first half, as they launched attack after attack upon their brave foe. It was like watching eleven Hurricane fighter jets against eleven Sopwith Camel biplanes. After half an hour, Hamble won a penalty as one of their players was shot down in flames in the area (fortunately, he parachuted to safety and was shortly back in action). The stout-hearted keeper earned a virtual medal as he saved a low hard shot to his left.

The courageous Humbugs couldn't hold out forever though. Before reinforcements could arrive in the form of a half-time cup of tea, they were penetrated by a bullet header from a corner by Hamble's centre-half. 1-1 at half-time, and a decent match.

GE Hamble's stand post-match.

The second half reminded me of the majority of Biggles books that took place between the wars. These were invariably tales of treasure hunting in various exotic locations throughout the world. Hamble spent the first forty minutes hunting treasure (or goals!) without success. Just as the reader thought that they would never succeed, they eventually broke through in the penultimate chapter. A flat and direct punt from central midfield skimmed off the top of Jamie Musselwhite's head and rippled the net like a stone plopping into the River Hamble.

In a game dominated by headed goals, another soon followed to complete the scoring at 3-1 to Hamble. It might have been easier to boot the ball in as it was six inches off the ground and a yard out, but the home side's centre-half obviously didn't want to spoil the game with a side-footed goal, so he got down on all fours to butt the ball with his forehead in the style of a disgruntled bison instead.

Both teams played well in a cracking game full of intrigue, just like the best Biggles books. Hamble deserved their victory, but Hayling look like a team that should avoid relegation at the end of the season, despite being bottom right now.

Goodnight from Gnat Lofthouse!

Oh, and I recommend the tea from Mugs Corner if you're thirsty. Comes in a large mug. They don't do delicate thimbleworths of tea at Mugs Corner. It's mugs only. Lovely.

Assuming my inner squirrels don't return, I should be reporting from another ground in two weeks.