Picture This...A Round-Up of Sorts

The new shelter at Andover New Street.

It's all over for another season. I've brought you more words and pictures, and you keep coming back to see whassup. I don't post about every match I go to, for my own sanity more than anything. I don't even take photos at every game - sometimes excitement has to come before art. But I do have a few pictures to spare from games that I didn't cover on here, so I thought maybe you'd like to see some? All of these photos were previously published on the HAH Facebook page. If you follow the blog on there, you'll be familiar with most of these, but not everyone is on Facebook.

So, would you like to see the new shelter at Andover New Street? Yes? Well, here it is, pictured in December last year. Plenty of places to stand under cover at the Wessex Premier's new boys. You'll never get wet at New Street.

Lymington Town at night.

How about a pretty picture of a church tower at night, taken at Lymington Town's ground in January? It rained that night. It rained every single day for three months...

Danny Phillips puts Infinity in to the cup final.

There was a league cup semi-final at Locks Heath in early February between Paulsgrove and Infinity. I'd seen top photographer Paul Paxford a few days before at Windsor. I asked him where the best place was to take penalty photos. He suggested behind the goal. He was right. The match went to a shootout, which Infinity won to send them in to the Hampshire League Cup Final.

Bush Hill go close against Sway at Hythe & Dibden.

The second semi-final was held at Hythe & Dibden a couple of weeks later. Bush Hill were cruising at 2-0 up with 15 minutes to go, but Sway came back to draw the game and win on penalties. They then beat Infinity in the final in May in what was a minor shock. I took this photo whilst stood on a raised platform behind the goal at the entrance end. Sway's number 7 heads off the line here. If that had gone in, it would have been 3-0 and game over.

The Mighty Havant & Waterlooville in action at Oxford City.

I follow the mighty Havant & Waterlooville when I'm not doing HAH. Here they are (in orange) at Oxford City's Marston Road in March. A hard-fought 1-0 victory for the Hawks.

Step art at Whitehawk at the Battle of the Hawks.

On Easter Monday, Havant & Waterlooville travelled to Whitehawk in East Brighton. They were possibly fortunate to come away with a 0-0 that day, but every point counted after 42 matches, as they finished level with Dartford, winning the league on goal difference.

The sun sets on Romsey Town's promotion hopes.

As clubs battled to finish their fixtures in April, one week it was possible to go to six matches in six days (a rare opportunity as there are very few Thursday night fixtures under normal circumstances). The week started at Romsey Town, who beat Laverstock & Ford 3-1 at the Bypass Ground. Unfortunately, a home defeat by Tadley-Calleva a few days earlier had put paid to their promotion hopes for this season. There's always next year...

Andover New Street's promotion party starting at Totton & Eling.

One team that never faltered - and surprised everyone - was Andover New Street. They were promoted after a 5-0 win at Totton & Eling. After being at (or near) the bottom of the Wessex since forever ago, no-one could begrudge them their success this season. Incredibly, they'll be playing in the division above neighbours Andover Town after the Portway side were relegated by the FA for refusing promotion to the Southern League.

Beneath the high rise at Team Solent.

My third game of this busy week was a Thursday night encounter between Team Solent and Alresford Town. Neither side had anything to play for, but it was an entertaining affair nevertheless. Alresford came back from two down to draw. They probably should have won.

Shock victory for Follands in their final home match.

The Friday night entertainment was at Follands (in yellow above). Rock-bottom, with one home victory all season, you would never have known they'd struggled as opponents New Milton Town were hammered 5-1. Most unexpected.

The home dugout at Fareham Town.

Blackfield & Langley won the Wessex this season. One of their final games was a visit to Fortress Cams, home of Fareham Town. It wasn't much of a fortress that evening as a visibly tired home team were easily beaten after they'd played approximately a zillion games in the previous fortnight. You can see the subs' shirts hung up in the home side's dugout at half-time here.

Paulsgrove rent the Front Lawn facility in Havant for their league match with Sway.

I don't think it counts in my season's match total if I only see half a game, does it? After watching the Hawks beat St Alban's City at Westleigh Park, I caught the last 40 minutes of a 4 o'clock kick-off at Hampshire FA's Front Lawn facility in Havant. It's a 4G pitch which was rented for the day by Paulsgrove for their Hampshire League game against Sway. The "home" club won that game fairly easily.

Ed Harris cadges a lift on Rory Williams' shoulders. This was an exciting moment, but not as incredible as what happened in the last minute.

Did I mention that I follow Havant & Waterlooville? And that they won the National League South to take their place in non-league's top division next season? Here they are celebrating their second goal against Concord Rangers on the final day of the season. 2-0 up against a team with nothing to play for? It's all over with an hour still to play, surely? Well, it wasn't, as the club from Essex somehow scored twice in the second half. Heading for the play-offs with a minute to go, Jason Prior scored with the coolest side-foot volley you'll ever see for the most exciting moment of 2017/18. There was a lot of leaping around right there and then, I can tell you.

One more post this season, and that will be the ever-unpopular roller round-up.

Overton United v Paulsgrove

Respect before kick-off.

You know that game Consequences where you're in a group and you take it in turns to write down names and places and what people said on a piece of paper and you fold the paper over and over so that everything is hidden and then you open it up at the end and the consequence is always the same because nobody can think of anything funnier - "they got married, had three children and lived happily ever after"? (He was called... She was called... They met at...blah blah blah...you know the one). Well, if Consequences was real life recently it would go something like... "He was called Andy...The match he was going to was XXX v YYY at ZZZ Recreation Ground...and come Saturday, the consequence was - it rained overnight, the pitch was waterlogged and the match was off".

Over and over again.

Whatever has it been like recently? Every Friday and Saturday it tips it down with rain or snow or cats and dogs and frogs or whatever else is up there in the sky above us.

Until this Saturday. At last!

Overton United's clubhouse and changing room facility.

Details:
Overton United FC (0) 0 v 2 (2) Paulsgrove FC
Saturday 24th March 2018
New Forest Care Hampshire Premier Football League Senior Division
Attendance: About 40 standing around the pitch, plus a few more watching from the bar.
Admission: By donation (a box was brought round)
Programme: No, but there is a monthly club newsletter called Touchline.
Colours: Blue and white stripes / white / blue v All red
National Grid reference: SU5149

Crunch!

I've featured both Overton and Paulsgrove previously this season - Overton in the Hampshire Intermediate Cup at Bishop's Waltham, and The Grove at home to Stockbridge. During Overton's match, I got chatting to joint-manager Gary Savory and said I'd pop along and see them before the end of the season. So I did.

Overton appears to be a prosperous village. Situated around four miles west of Basingstoke, I would guess it's a perfectly pleasant place to live. There's quite a few thatched cottages near the village centre, with plenty of newer houses radiating out from there. The first shop I saw was selling guns (for the sporting community, presumably). I seem to remember when I first visited neighbouring Whitchurch, the first person I saw was carrying a gun - I suppose he bought it from here. He must have been going out to hunt rabbits or pheasants or clay pigeons.

St Mary's Church.

I too was hunting on Saturday, as I often am. I was hunting for new beers to add to my Untappd beer list app. I noticed before I set off that The White Hart had a beer from the Upham Brewery that I'd not tried before, so I popped in pre-match for a cheeky half. That'll be nearly 200 unique types of beer since I signed up 6 months ago then...I'm not obsessed, honest.

Another phone app I've had since Christmas is the Groundhopper app, which some of you might know about. On here, you record all the matches you go to and the grounds that the matches are played on. Not every club or ground is on there - so, Overton's ground is on there (so users can record their visits to Overton Recreation Centre), but Overton United FC are not (I don't know why).

Amongst all the other stats it produces, it ranks its users as "Top Fans" for each club. Apparently, I'm "Top Fan" of several local clubs (because I've seen them play more than anybody else using the app - obviously the number of app users are tiny compared to the number of fans out there, so it's just a bit of fun). Along with the likes of Romsey Town and AFC Stoneham, I'm Paulsgrove's top fan, having seen them play, ahem, five times (like I say, I'm clearly not their top fan in real life - their proper fans have better things to do than record their every movement on phone apps).

Smiles for the winded defender, Jake Warlow, after he was accidentally nutted by his keeper.

So I was out hunting for new beer and a new football ground, as I'd never been to Overton United before. What's it like?

As with most grounds in the Hampshire League, the pitch is situated on a recreation ground. There are tennis courts in one corner and a cricket square in the middle. The pitch is placed next to the Bridge Street Pavilion, which contains the changing rooms and an upstairs members' bar. I would guess this was built in the 1970s, but I could be wrong.

Behind the bottom end of the pitch runs a mill race. This shallow water feature was full of chattering ducks. Throughout the match, I could hear alarmed quacking as a gaggle of over-excited male mallards chased a single female mallard, presumably in the hope of mating with her and passing on their genes to the next generation of ducklings. I wonder if they record the number of ducklings produced from their loins on a phone app?

Where there's water near a football pitch, there needs to be a method of retrieving stray balls from that water, so there was a fishing net sat ready on a bench for that purpose.

As you can see from the pictures here, the main feature at Overton United, and what makes it a particularly attractive ground, is St Mary's Church, positioned on higher ground above the pitch to the north. There must have been a children's party going on when I arrived, as mums and dads and small boys and girls came traipsing past during the first half carrying helium balloons on sticks. One child asked "Daddy, is that a rugby match?"

Daddy said it wasn't.

Corner for Overton.

It certainly wasn't a rugby match, because if it was, I'd have turned around and driven away. I really don't understand that game. Football is so much simpler. Get a round ball, pass it around a bit with your feet and/or head until your team nears the opposition target, then try to get the ball in to that target more times than the other team to win. That's basically it.

And that's what Paulsgrove did twice. Their first goal came after 16 minutes as Tommy Woodward was played through the centre. He chipped the ball over the advancing Sean O'Brien in Overton's goal, under the bar, between the posts, nestling in the net.

Grove could have argued that O'Brien shouldn't have been on the pitch, as he'd handled outside the area after just three minutes. However, referee Chloe-Ann Anderson deemed that there were enough covering defenders to have made it not a clear goalscoring opportunity.

Anderson was busy again just after the opening goal, when a spot of handbags broke out by the clubhouse. Paulsgrove defender Craig Ralph moved his head towards an opponent. There was no contact, but enough intent was shown to warrant a red card. So the away side were down to ten men with 70 minutes still to play.

Celebrating Paulsgrove's second goal.

When the going gets rough, the players get tough. Grove doubled down, determined not to let Overton through. It really wasn't noticeable that Paulsgrove had one less player as they fought for every ball. After all, they're in a great position to win the league - if their season had been fizzling out, maybe Overton would have had a better chance, but tackle after tackle went in and there was no way through for the home team.

There was more controversy after 31 minutes as Paulsgrove thought they'd scored a second, but it was ruled out by the club linesman for offside. The Grove swore he was wrong. I couldn't work out why as I was too far away, but there may have been someone on the goal line playing their player onside? I don't know.

They did get their second, and what proved to be the final goal of the game, after 41 minutes, Danny Lane thumping in a header from close range. The shirt-over-the-head celebration followed, as you can see above.

There were few chances for either team in the second half. Paulsgrove defended their two-goal advantage well. Overton could never quite break through, as I'm sure they would have done against a less resilient side.

Oh, and it rained. I wondered where the rain had gone...

Aw, can I play?

The result leaves Paulsgrove in a strong position. Their biggest problem in the run-in is that they still have 13 matches to play before 28th April, whereas their main rivals for the title, Bush Hill and Infinity "only" have ten to go each. All three have to play each other in the last month, so these "mini-league within a league" games will be crucial. However, they must also avoid slipping up against their other opponents, which is surprisingly something Infinity didn't do at the weekend at Colden Common.

Overton United will finish in mid-table this time out, although I can see no reason why they shouldn't be challenging for a top five position next season.

Thank you to Overton for the friendly welcome.There will be more pictures from the game posted on the HAH Facebook page later this evening.

I'm not going to speculate on where I'll be reporting from next. Wherever it is, could the sun come out just for a few minutes? Please! And could there be a beer I've not recorded before in a nearby pub? Pretty please!

Paulsgrove v Stockbridge

A muddy football at Paulsgrove FC.

Reader's voice (in bold): Hey Andy, may I be so BOLD as to ask why you were revisiting Paulsgrove on Saturday so soon after your last visit in February 2017? I thought you were covering 60+ clubs in Hampshire...

HAH (me): I know, I know, I try to spread the love, and there's around ten Hampshire League grounds that I haven't yet featured, but this one looked too good to miss. Top versus third, both on excellent runs. It looked like a potentially colossal match-up on paper. Also, I'd effectively promised Stockbridge that I'd feature them in the second half of the season after drawing them out of a Quality Street tin over Christmas when I'd asked the members of the HAH Facebook group and my Twitter followers who they'd like to see on the blog (the other club that I pulled out were Fareham Town, so you'll be able to read about them as well at some point between now and April).

I'd also enjoyed my last visit to Paulsgrove. The other clubs in the Hampshire League can wait - I'll feature them all eventually.

A slightly less muddy football.

Details:
Paulsgrove FC (1) 1 v 2 (1) Stockbridge FC
Saturday 20th January 2017
New Forest Care Homes Hampshire Premier League Senior Division
Attendance: 45-50
Admission: Nothing, just donations for the half-time cuppa required.
Programme: No
Colours: All dark blue v All red
National Grid reference: SU6305

Stockbridge attack with the motorway junction signs not too far away.

Has anything changed at Paulsgrove since last year?

Very little, other than the usual turnover of players. The clubhouse is still well-protected from vandalism, as I'm afraid it needs to be around here. Inside, the 40 or 50 spectators mix with the players and club officials at half-time to help themselves to tea, coffee or Bovril in exchange for a donation. The pitch is surrounded by railings, smartly painted in club colours, with the two dugouts the only other "furniture" at the ground. It's possible that in the future that they might add seating or covered standing, but there's nothing there at the moment. To keep dry on Saturday, it was either bring your own umbrella or stand under a tree.

The Away dugout at half-time.

You predicted that Paulsgrove would win the league this year, didn't you?

I did indeed when I ran a pre-season preview on the Facebook group page. I said words to the effect that anybody who finished above Bush Hill would win the league, and I predicted that Paulsgrove would be that club. I was impressed with them when I saw them twice last season and I had a strong hunch that their chairman, Rich Bessey, would improve them even further. They finished fourth last time out, and this season, they'd won 12 out of 14 going in to this match. Their main rivals, Bush Hill and Infinity, are both a few places behind, but both have games in hand. It should be an exciting second half of the season in this league.

Penalty save!

Do the winners of the Hampshire League get automatic promotion to the Wessex League?

No, they do not. Anybody who wants to move up has to apply to the FA Leagues Committee by the end of the calendar year. The FALC will then inspect the applicants' facilities to make sure they comply with the various rules and regulations, e.g., they have to have certain size dressing rooms, floodlights, covered seating, amongst other things. If they don't comply, or can't show that they will comply by a certain date, their application will be rejected. Applicants also have to finish in the top five of their league at the end of a "normal" season. However, this is not a "normal" season, as a new league is being created in the Midlands, and to accommodate this, more clubs from step 7 (equivalent leagues to the Hampshire League) will be needed to backfill the spaces vacated by clubs being promoted or transferred to this new Midland league. Thus, clubs that finish outside the top five may be promoted this year.

Paulsgrove shoot! This one went just wide.

Have Paulsgrove applied for promotion?

No, they have not. I'm sure that they're well aware that their facilities would fall short of the FALC's requirements. However, opponents Stockbridge have applied, along with Infinity and Sway from the Hampshire League, as have Swanage Town & Herston and Shrewton United, from Dorset and Wiltshire respectively, all of whom fall within the Wessex League's footprint. As a former Wessex League club, Stockbridge should certainly pass the inspectors' exams. I don't know about Infinity or Sway - it will probably depend if they have concrete plans for floodlights and the other things necessary to pass.

If Paulsgrove want to move on up to play at the higher level, they would probably have to move if the council don't allow them to develop Marsden Road to the required standard.

Sensible spectators with umbrellas.

Did the match live up to expectations?

It certainly did! The pitch passed an inspection a couple of hours before kick-off, but the rain hadn't stopped falling all morning, so it was wet and muddy at the start, and it only got worse as the game went on, players losing their footing and sliding hither and thither over the surface. It was like being transported back to the 1970s when matches were regularly played in these sort of conditions.

Stockbridge started the brightest as the home side found it tricky adapting to the conditions. Rory Hunter-Brown hit the bar from 25 yards in the second minute with the home keeper beaten. Stocky kept up the pressure and deservedly took the lead after 21 minutes when Callum Buck struck a long-distance shot which Adam Walker couldn't hold. The ball rebounded in to the path of the oncoming Liam Dufall who side-footed in to the unguarded net.

Their lead only lasted two minutes as the Grove struck back almost immediately. A shot from the right was blocked, but fell to Danny Lane with his back to goal. Instead of turning or passing, he decided to surprise the away side's keeper, Pete Roberts, by backheeling the ball into the net from six yards.

Stockbridge nearly retook the lead in the 39th minute as Buck tried his luck from distance again. Another one against the bar.

This was turning in to a great game. I don't know if the players were enjoying themselves (probably not!), but the gathering of 50 or so spectators were being hugely entertained on a miserable rainy afternoon. The home fans nearly had a goal to cheer straight from kick-off in the second half as a Stockbridge defender made an error, letting Alex Miroy through one-on-one with Roberts. Miroy aimed to his left, but Roberts pulled off a terrific save, parrying the ball away for a corner. From this corner, the Grove players were convinced that the ball had crossed the line, echoing a controversial decision the last time I was here, when they scored the winner against Colden Common when the visitors were convinced that their keeper had stopped the ball crossing the line. It wasn't to be this time as the ref waved play on.

Pulsating stuff.

Buck was played through on 50 minutes, but was tripped in the area. Penalty to Stockbridge! Steven Lace stepped up, and...well, you can see what happened in the photo...saved by Walker!

And so it went on. Stockbridge on top for 20 minutes. Paulsgrove with the majority of the play for the last 20 minutes and the most likely to score a winner in that time. But there was a twist in the 93rd minute. Stockbridge substitute Lewis Price-Lloyd was in the right place at the right time to score the winner with a diving header, causing pandemonium amongst his team-mates as they all slid in to congratulate him on what was a most unexpected victory.

Stockbridge celebrate a famous victory!

Sounds great! I wish I'd been there!

You should have been! There weren't many matches on locally, so I believe there were a few local floating fans at Marsden Road, including one groundhopper who spoke to me near the end as he saw me taking photos. I should have asked him how far he'd travelled, but I was preoccupied with trying to keep my camera dry (which I failed to do...). If you're at a loose end on a Saturday between now and the end of the season, I'd recommend you go along and see either of these two sides - they're both playing well, and you never know, you might be watching the league champions-elect (Paulsgrove, despite Saturday's defeat) or a club which may be promoted to the Wessex League come the end of April.

Where are you going next Andy?

HAH is having a week off next Saturday. I'll probably be at Follands v Romsey Town if the weather is kind. I'll be writing and taking photos again in a fortnight, when I'll be following one of our local clubs on a right royal day out in a national cup competition. I'll leave you to work that one out...

There will be more photos from this game on the HAH Facebook page when I get round to uploading them. There won't be as many as usual for reasons that I won't bore you with, but hey, some is better than none!

Paulsgrove v Colden Common

Watching Paulsgrove attacking in the first half.

We all do it. We all daydream about what we'd do if we suddenly had millions of pounds to spend. A lottery win, an unexpected bequeathment from a rich great-uncle, a hand-me-down banking job in the City of London...

What would you do with a £20million windfall from the National Lottery or Great-Uncle Moneybags? Probably the same as me. There'd be the dream home, followed by a fast car or two, never-ending holidays. A massive room with a pool table, a bar with all my favourite beers on hand pumps, and an old-style reconditioned vinyl jukebox in the corner stuffed with rock n roll, punk and soul classics. My friends would come over and we'd have parties lasting for days.

But it would be hard to spend it all on me and the family and friends, so I'd also give a big wedge to charity - homeless cats, dogs for the deaf and blind, rescued donkeys (cue jokes about Saints or Pompey, according to which club you support...), orphaned children, the sick and needy, cures for every disease...

And still I'd have millions left over.

Paulsgrove celebrate their first goal with the Portsdown Hill chalk pits in the background.

Details:
Paulsgrove FC (1) 2 v 1 (0) Colden Common FC
Puma Engineering Hampshire Premier Football League Senior Division
Saturday 11th February 2017
Attendance: About 20
Admission: £0
Programme: No
Colours: All dark blue v Red and white stripes / black / red
National Grid reference: SU6305

My design for a new stand at Paulsgrove FC. May never be built.

As much as I'd like to theoretically party all day and all night, all of the time, it's not in my nature. I'm a creative man at heart, so I'd have to have something else to fill my time. I like to write and take photos, hence the existence of HAH. But as a child, I also enjoyed designing and inventing things. I may well go back to that.

I might spend a day or two inventing a new improved potato peeler or a cleverly-engineered nut cracker. I'd also like to help some of my local football clubs by improving their infrastructure. If a Wessex or Hampshire League club needed a new stand, I'd design it for them, then give them the money to go ahead and build it.

To this end, I spent a little time this week designing a new stand for Paulsgrove FC (see the illustration above). Paulsgrove are one of many clubs in the Hampshire League who have nowhere for spectators to sit or stand to keep dry when it rains, so it would be a useful addition to their ground.

Time for a drink.

It didn't need to be a big structure - enough room for 30-40 people, so I designed a small stand with three concrete steps. The front step would be reserved for chairs - these would be removable and put in place before kick-off and then stored away in the changing room block when not being used. The back two steps would be used by those wishing to stand. So far, so normal.

The most unusual feature of the stand would be on the roof, where I placed two turrets. Why? Because Portsmouth has a long military history - the Roman-era Portchester Castle isn't far from Paulsgrove, and there are several forts overlooking the city up on Portsdown Hill. The turrets would firstly reflect this history, but secondly, the stand could also be used as play equipment for local children when there was no match on.

They could climb up on to the roof of the stand via a safe ladder, and depart the roof on a slide. To thwart any bad kids who might want to break the stand or set it on fire, the whole thing would be made of tungsten.

Sadly, I guess I will never be rich and my stand will never be built, consigned to live on in my whimsical world and nowhere else, so back to the real world...

One of Colden Common's subs wondering whether he'll get a run out today.

As mentioned previously, Paulsgrove have no cover, other than their indestructible dugouts. The pitch has a blue and white metal rail surround with a concrete path beyond that. Dog walkers and other members of the public come and go during the match as one side of hard standing doubles up as a public footpath connecting some playing fields to the west with Marsden Road to the east. The dog walkers pass the heavily fortified changing rooms/tea room building (help yourself to a drink at half-time for a small donation) and over the small bumpy car park. If you travel to Paulsgrove FC by car, it's unlikely you'll be able to park here, but there is plenty of room outside on Marsden Road.

Looking around, you'll see Portsdown Hill with its Victorian chalk pits and secret military installations to the north; and to the south, Tesco, McDonalds, the M27, the massive heap full of rubbish that used to greet visitors to Portsmouth (now landscaped), and yacht masts belonging to the citizens of Port Solent (which usually includes the homes of several Pompey players). And then there's the railway track which runs parallel to the ground - two footballs were booted over the fence on to the track during the match - replacing these balls must be Paulsgrove's biggest expense.

The exclusive nature of Port Solent sits at variance with the council estate in which the club is based. Built quickly and cheaply in the immediate post-war period to house returning servicemen and civilians bombed out of their Portsmouth homes during the war, Paulsgrove has a reputation which can be summed up as "rough, tough and mind your hubcaps" if the internet is to be believed. Having had family live nearby, I know the place reasonably well, and yes, whilst there's undoubtedly some bad eggs, I've never had any problems there, so, as always, don't necessarily believe what you read - make your own minds up (this applies to everything in life).

Close but not quite, as Colden Common hit the inside of the post and the ball runs along the line before being cleared.

Both Paulsgrove and Colden Common had had a slow start to the season, but lately, both have been on excellent runs. Paulsgrove were last beaten in the league in mid-November, whilst their visitors hadn't lost since December 3rd. So, on paper, this looked like it could be a much better game than the mid-table positions of the two combatants suggested.

Common had a full complement of players, including several with recent Wessex League experience at Romsey Town and Whitchurch United, whilst Paulsgrove were struggling to fill their bench, with injuries and other availability issues causing problems for their management team. However, what the Grove lacked in strength in depth, they made up for in team spirit. Common were never given time to settle on the ball - there would always be a Grove player niggling away at their ankles or putting in a hefty (but fair) challenge.

The home side duly took the lead on 14 minutes when Harry Griffin picked up a through pass 35 yards out which bisected Common's centre-backs. He took ten strides forward and calmly stroked the ball past the onrushing keeper Ben Goble for his second goal in two games since signing for the club.

Common's best chance to equalise in the first half was caught on camera (above). It looked nailed on when Ben Thomson lofted the ball over the advancing keeper. But the ball hit the inside of the post and ran slowly back up the slope without crossing the line before a Grove defender got there first and smashed it away to safety. Cursed luck for the away side or good fortune for the home team? Take your pick. There was more to come at that end in the second half...

Common score from the halfway line. Beckham-esque!

The second half was the story of two contrasting goals - one sublime, the other highly controversial. Common had been pressing well and deserved an equaliser, but it came in an unexpected fashion after 57 minutes. Paulsgrove's goalie cleared the ball upfield, but it went straight to Common's midfield maestro Dave Egerton near the centre-circle. He glanced up, spotted the keeper off his line, and promptly lofted the ball back, one bounce, dead centre, net rippling, nice one!

And that could have been that in what was a very even game. There weren't a great number of chances as most of the action was concentrated in midfield. A draw looked likely, but on 85 minutes, it all kicked off. Paulsgrove's Josh Cripps took aim from the edge of the box. His shot bounced awkwardly in front of Goble, who got a hand to the ball, but not quite enough to stop it completely. It dribbled out of his grasp and as he desperately dived backwards to retrieve the ball...well, did it cross the line or not?

I'm neutral, so I'll present the evidence as I saw it:

The main exhibit is the photo below. If you zoom in on the goalkeeper, is there daylight between the ball and the goal-line? I honestly don't know!

Also in the photo, you can see two home supporters raising their arms in celebration. They obviously had a great view. Would they both be celebrating like that if the ball hadn't crossed the line? I think if they weren't sure, their hands might be on their heads or over their faces.

Paulsgrove's centre-forward is also celebrating, but did he have as good a view as the supporters? And was he holding up his hand more in hope than expectation? Again, I don't know!

The club linesman was on the right-hand side as we look. With the goalkeeper's body in the way, there is no way he could have seen whether the ball crossed the line or not, even if he was positioned perfectly in that split second.

Of course, the only person whose opinion really matters is the referee. As you can see from the photo, he had a small gap between the Paulsgrove player and the Common keeper through which he could see the ball. In his opinion, with the view that he had, the ball had crossed the line, so that should have been that. However, as Paulsgrove ran off for their celebratory hugs, the ref was surrounded by protesting Common players who insisted it wasn't a goal. Right-back Henry Bragginton (number 2 in the photo, who had a decent view of the situation) was sent off for arguing too vehemently.

As I say, I'm neutral, and I was obviously a long way away, so I'm not committing either way! The evidence is there in the photo. If you'd like to make up your own minds, feel free to do so, but the referee's decision is final, so nothing will change.

Blimey, it's like Match of the Day on here this week! Their pundits would have loved this!

Anyway, it was blooming cold, my fingers and feet were both numb, so I was glad the final whistle went a few minutes later. Back to the car (hubcaps still intact, unsurprisingly), and home to warm up in front of a roaring log fire.

Did it? Didn't it? Can't quite tell if the ball crossed the line here for the winning goal, but Paulsgrove's fans seem to think so.

I wasn't the only cameraman at Paulsgrove on Saturday. Colden Common are one of the few clubs in the Hampshire League with a dedicated lensman. His snaps and a match report may be seen on Common's website here. As I always do these days, I shall publish another 40 or so pictures on the Hopping Around Hampshire Facebook page later this evening.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just popping out to visit my Great-Uncle Moneybags to change his will to make sure he's warm and comfortable, then on my way home, I need to pick up a Euro Millions lottery ticket. I'll be back on here in a fortnight, when I'll feature one of the two Wessex League grounds that I've yet to write about. (Unless I'm a multi-millionaire by then, in which case, it's all round mine for a paaaaartyyyyy!!!!)

Locks Heath v Paulsgrove

Locks Heath FC.

I was away doing a work-related course last week. It was hard going. Me and my colleague were mixed in with a group of very focussed MSc students, who were used to the academic life. Me, I hadn't done anything as brain-scorchingly difficult as this since I left school, many moons ago.

Highlights of the week? Not many. I managed to persuade my work pal to go and watch a match on Tuesday evening - Kempston Rovers v Chipstead in an FA Trophy replay on the west side of Bedford. It was okay, but at 1-0 going in to the final minute, I was willing Chipstead not to equalise and force extra-time. They duly hit the post and then Kempston broke upfield to settle the match with a second goal.

There was a trip to the cinema, a beer or two, but little else to do in the cultural ghost town of Bedford. Breakfast time was a highlight when I could mix Corn Flakes with Coco Pops and add a few tinned grapefruit slices, washed down with a small orange juice for my "continental breakfast". It was a relief when Friday came around and we'd seemingly finished our mini-course earlier than advertised at 2pm. Brilliant! Time to escape! Let's turn off the computer, pack our bags and say our goodbyes.

Then our tutor produced an exam paper...

The sun still shines as the two teams emerge from the dressing rooms.

Details:
Locks Heath FC (0) 0 v 3 (1) Paulsgrove FC
Saturday October 15th 2016
Puma Engineering Hampshire Premier League Cup 2nd Round
Attendance: 15-ish
Admission: None
Programme: No
Colours: Red & black / black / black v All dark blue
National Grid reference: SU5205

Well, that's the last we'll see of any blue sky this Saturday. Wan light from now on.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. An exam paper! You mean, I had to remember all that algebra, all those difficult to understand concepts, and regurgitate them on to paper? Wasn't it enough that I'd managed to stay awake during all those dry, lengthy tutorials? Don't I get a certificate for not snoring whilst teacher was speaking?

Apparently not.

An hour of mental agony ensued. I remembered all those times when it really mattered at the end of the school year, when my mind would go blank as soon as I was presented with a paper full of questions. Ask me to name 50 Football League teams in 60 seconds in a pub with no pressure attached, and I can do it - do the same thing on a paper in a pressure situation, and I'll be stuck after 20.

Feeling punch drunk when the hour was up, I did surprisingly okay - 29 out of 50 - probably a C or a D, so I've not really changed since school, when I would merrily write about the Vietnam War for 40 minutes before realising that I should have written about the Korean situation instead. Rip it up and start again.

Paulsgrove attacking the Leafy End.

So what if I went to university now, perhaps to study Sports Journalism for three years? What would one of my match reports look like if written to a deadline? I'd probably have to write in a certain style and stop after a certain number of words. There's obviously a skill in writing a succinct match report to a deadline. Could I do it?

I decided to give it a go this morning. I gave myself 20 minutes to knock out a 300 word report on Saturday's Hampshire League Cup match between Locks Heath and Paulsgrove. The resulting piece of "journalism" follows in bold with comments on my own work in square brackets.

Midfield action.

Three-star Paulsgrove came out on top at a rain-lashed Locks Heath Rec yesterday in a one-sided league cup tie. On paper, these two sides looked well matched, both ensconced in mid-table, but despite there being only one goal in it for the majority of the match, there was never any real doubt about who was going to win this one.

[Three-star? Oh dear, this type of phrase is only used when a team scores five - they'd be five-star Paulsgrove - much more impressive! Three stars makes them look a bit average. And why did I use the word "ensconced"? That's not a football word! "Marooned" in mid-table, perhaps, but not ensconced! There's an imaginary dictionary of football words that journalists use, and ensconced is definitely not in it!]

As the match got under way, it was hard to tell the two teams apart, with Locks Heath wearing red on the front, but with black backs, making it look as though they were playing in all black whenever their players were facing the other way. Paulsgrove turned up in all dark blue. I wondered if they might be asked to change in to training bibs by the ref, but the players seemed happy with the situation and carried on as they were.

[The match kicked off late because there were no corner flags - that might have been a more interesting titbit than the colour clash. I should have cut this. I may have lost a few marks in my imaginary journalism exam here.]

Corner for Locks Heath.

Paulsgrove took the lead after a sustained spell of early pressure paid off when Locks Heath’s keeper unluckily punched a flighted corner ball in to his own net after 13 minutes. He was called in to action again shortly afterwards, making a fine reaction save to push a point-blank shot from Paulsgrove’s number 9 on to the post.

[This is better, although I should have asked for a teamsheet so that I could have named the goalkeeper and Paulsgrove's number 9. Then again, perhaps Locks Heath's custodian would prefer to remain anonymous?]

The match had kicked off in sunshine, but rain clouds soon moved in from the south-west, obscuring the view of the Isle of Wight, which had been clearly visible from the far side of the pitch. Spectators huddled together beneath trees as the rain became heavier and heavier and the players became wetter and wetter as the match progressed.

[Hmmm, this is a bit flowery for a match report. I can get away with this on a blog as a bit of background colour, but this would have been edited out in a newspaper before publication. I'd used the words "rain-lashed" in the first sentence, which would be good enough. People without an emotional attachment to the players (team-mates, friends, relations and club officials) all disappeared when the rain became unbearable]

Rainy day in Hampshire.

It took until the 80^th minute for Paulsgrove to extend their lead, debutant Craig Ralph shimmying past a pair of Locks Heath defenders on the left side of the box before unleashing a powerful shot which nestled in the far corner.

[I missed out an hour of the match here, as if nothing else happened in this period. There were shots, saves and yellow cards during the missing sixty minutes. I should have noted some of these down and reported them. However, that last paragraph is passable, with plenty of "football words" (shimmying, unleashing and nestled are all good). That's got to be worth an "A" in my imaginary journalism exam]

As Locks Heath pushed forward looking for a consolation goal, they were caught again on the break, Jim Hird finishing a slick passing move by sliding the ball in from six yards for a thoroughly deserved 3-0 victory. New manager Rich Bessey will be well pleased with his start at the club, winning two and drawing one of his first three games, scoring ten and conceding only one in the process. Paulsgrove will be a hard team to beat this season.

[Wow, I finished on a high here! Plenty of "football words" and a mention of the manager's excellent start - it looks as if I'd done some homework! I probably should have talked more about Locks Heath - the whole report seems a little biased towards Paulsgrove, but then they were the better team on the day]

Non-league dog watches on.

What do you think? I suspect I'd have failed my journalism exam with this piece - I did it in 20 minutes, but was 82 words over the limit, and I wandered off the path a little bit in to my usual world of whimsy. At least I didn't mention how many non-league dogs were passing by during the match (several).

I normally give a ground description for anybody that's not previously visited a place that I write about, but on this occasion, I'll let the pictures describe Locks Heath Rec. There will be another 40 or so photos on the HAH Facebook page to accompany this post.

It's been a pleasure visiting Clanfield and Locks Heath in the last two weeks. I'll feature more Hampshire League clubs throughout the season. In the meantime, I'll be back with another game on either the 5th or 12th November - I haven't decided where yet - it depends on the FA Vase draw and/or the as yet unpublished fixtures for the Hampshire League.

Upwards and onwards.